Original Weibo Post: https://weibo.com/1792951112/K3S5HcgZi
Original Author: Xiao Zhan
Today, there’s a few things I want to say to everyone. I had thought of many methods, finally, I decided to use a simple method to explain how I felt in this year to everyone. These thoughts, perhaps they would not represent much, or even solve anything, but I still hope that I can say them today.
Last year today, the storm started very suddenly, like an explosive dynamite, the explosion dazed me. My phone would not stop ringing, my Weixin notifications did not stop, everyone’s opinions and problems came rushing at me. I wanted to say something then, but I did not know what I should say, as there were a lot of concerns in my heart, I was worried that every word or statement would be over analyzed, over blown, and as such create even bigger controversies. Hence, I chose not to say anything then.
I did not expect that the discussions between different circles in the internet, the countering emotions, accumulated like a rolling snowball, bringing more and more different circles in, slowly becoming out of my control, and then later, even if I wanted to say something to remedy the situation, it was impossible for it to go according to what I had hoped for.
This kind of chaotic and mangled life continued to today. As for my condition, this whole year was like going through countless endless dark tunnels. Anxiety, reflection and struggle. I also questioned what I did wrong, and why after that day, everything became an uncontrolled shipwreck.
I took a long time to digest this, and then took a long time to understand, to understand what everyone was saying and doing. Slowly, I started to understand what criticisms everyone had of me. From the moment I did not express my attitude, I had missed the opportunity to have a rational discussion with everyone. From that moment, I was wrong.
At that moment, I had not clearly understood the whole incident, or had a clear direction of where everyone’s emotion was heading towards, and even more not understood what kind of responsibility I had as a public figure. As such, I missed the opportunity to communicate with everyone, and also missed the opportunity to direct these countering emotions. I now clearly realize that, within this year, everyone’s main criticisms of me with regards to the “Silent Idol” was correct. In this year, I kept reflecting, I as a public figure, besides improving my capabilities, I also needed to take on an equivalent amount of social responsibility, and be brave to express these correct values. Within my capabilities, direct those who like me, follow me. Although within this year, I had expressed some of these attitudes via my and my studio’s Weibo, via my interviews, but for those who were hurt or harmed due to this controversy of mine, these wounds remain hard to heal.
No matter how late it is, my problems will need to be corrected. I hope that with this, I express my stance – I, Xiao Zhan, express my solemn apologies to those who were harmed by my silence. This is a responsibility I have to bear as a public figure, face the problem, admit my faults.
At the same time, I wish to take this opportunity to say something to my fans. This is the second responsibility I have to bear. Last year, in an interview, I said that I do not agree with “managing” my fans, because everyone is their own individual, no matter whether I or my studio, we have no right to manage them like a superior-subordinate relationship. After that I kept reflecting, perhaps I cannot use “manage” to handle the relationship between my fans and me, but I have the responsibility to direct and promote. Hence today, I want to tell my fans, everyone has their right to like or dislike, their rights to like or dislike should be respected, and they should be allowed to express that in their own space. Of course this right should be rational, not to be used to harm others, and should be within the boundaries of positive values. I hope that my fans can understand, no matter which industry, which age range, our likes and actions should not step over boundaries, go overboard, or should go against your career ethics or your own morality. No matter whether online or offline, everyone should be responsible for their words and actions. I hope that everyone will not be represented by this self-created label of “so-and-so’s fans”, and do not allow this to become the cause of countering positions, and not use them as a basis to determine right or wrong. Everyone has our own interests and biases, we should respect everyone’s choices and their right to express themselves, no matter where it is to like or dislike me, that is any individual’s rights. Passion, it should be something that gives everyone energy, I hope that this source will not expend anyone or cause them harm. Perhaps I am unable to change the entire environment, but at least beginning today, between you and I, today is a new starting point.
Finally, I wanted to talk about myself with everyone again. From entering this industry until today, I had always been represented by some labels. But it was my passion for performance and music that made me enter this industry, and as such, I will always do my best to become a more professional actor and singer, whereas for this sudden “Silent Idol” criticism, it allowed me to realize that as a public figure and idol, besides focusing on my capabilities, I should also bear the responsibilities and obligations. I was born an ordinary family in Chongqing, and like many others, I lived a common life for 20+ years. Today I also need to take this opportunity to express my apologies for some of the incorrect words I had said as a commoner, as well as those who were hurt by it. I will work hard to learn how to better myself, become a better “public figure”, let these two Xiao Zhans connect and blend, and become a better self.
I would have to bear all of the responsibilities for what happened in the past one year, for all of the storms, no matter how big or small, that started because of me. I can ensure that for myself, but I cannot impose onto others, I can only hope that those who really like me, can seriously listen to what I said, outside of our likes and dislikes, add a bit of rationality. Live enthusiastically, and put your focus and energy into your personal life, less on the internet and behind these fights, arguments, counter stances in these internet identities, more into working hard and positivity in our lives. Become a better person.