This moment, Xiao Zhan is walking on the path of “truth”, day and night, towards the future

Original Article: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/TJywuMmuKZV6E71_d5kAUg
Original Author: JY, JIAWEI
This article was originally published on 6 Dec on ELLE’s Weixin Official Account 世界时装之苑ELLE.

The summer last year, for Cao Yu’s 110th birthday commemoration, Xiao Zhan and Cao Yu’s daughter, playwright Wan Fang, had a “conversation on theater for 2 generations”, Xiao Zhan asked, “Is ‘truth’ an important element in the process of creativity?” Wan Fang’s reply brought up a phrase from “The Winter Journey”: There is no path towards sincerity, sincerity itself is the path. At this moment, Xiao Zhan is walking on the path of “truth”, night and day, towards the future.

Spring of 2020, Xiao Zhan was re-recording some of the lines for TV Drama “The Oath of Love”. One day in March or April, Xiao Zhan spoke with “The Oath of Love” director Lü Ying, and said that he was especially envious of Gu Wei. “He said, the Gu Wei in the drama is so happy, he has a simple, ordinary life.” Lü Ying recalled, that he spoke to Xiao Zhan, “Don’t be envious, your life would definitely be better than him in the future.”

No. 1 Gazing at the Lake

Xiao Zhan had never been to West Lake. Hence after the last performance of “A Dream Like A Dream” Hangzhou stop in October, he was “urged” by his colleagues to make a spur-of-the-moment trip to West Lake for a night visit. There was almost no one on the long causeway, Xiao Zhan sat by the lake on the benches meant for tourists. The surface of the lake was wide, there was the shadows of mountains in the distance, he gazed at the lake, and remembered “Patient No. 5”. “I of course didn’t see myself, but it was very relaxing and calm, just like the emotions then,” Xiao Zhan said.

In the play “A Dream Like A Dream”, Patient No. 5 was an architect with a happy family, but after experiencing his child’s sudden death from an illness, his wife’s disappearance, himself diagnosed with a strange disease, everything had gone off the rails. His last days were spent touring the world, and came to a “lake that could see yourself” at a castle in France.

It was a play regarding impermanence. “I only know, ever since that disease that I don’t know found me, everything changed. Do I know him? I don’t know, but he just came like this.” No. 5 had this line.

Wang Keran, the executive producer for 2021 Yanghua version of “A Dream Like A Dream”, noticed Xiao Zhan in the summer of 2020. He had not seen Xiao Zhan’s works prior to this, but he heard his friend, a trusted psychologist playwright, praising Xiao Zhan’s performance in a drama. Wang Keran invited Xiao Zhan to read Wan Fang’s memoirs “You and I” (Wan Fang is Cao Yu’s daughter and playwright), and raise some questions. Following that there was his invitation to Xiao Zhan to participate in Cao Yu’s 110th birthday commemoration event, Wan Fang and Xiao Zhan had a conversation on the concept of theater.

“I feel that from the communication with him, I could sense whether he could take on (the roles).” Xiao Zhan’s expression and movements when conversing with Wan Fang, his questions became the basis of Wang Keran’s judgement on Xiao Zhan’s character, life energy and passion for performing arts. He brought up several plays to Xiao Zhan, and invited him to give 10 questions for each play. Xiao Zhan was interested in Patient No. 5.

“Like a dream,” Xiao Zhan said. “A Dream Like A Dream” is 8 hours long, starts with the ring of a bell, ends with the ring of a bell, he felt that No. 5 was not a simple tragic character, but like an ordinary person next to him, futilely searching for answers.

Xiao Zhan believes in impermanence. He frequently hears his friends comment that life is tough. When reading his friends’ circle (TN: Friends only message board on WeChat), he frequently sees people complaining, about when their bad luck would end. “Many things have no results, it just happens, we have no choice, I believe that these sort of problems would happen to everyone.”

In the play, No. 5 sees Gu Xianglan when gazing at the lake, and possibly also saw his past life, we do not know. On the night in October, Xiao Zhan gazed at the lake, and realized that: oh, it could be this type of feeling when Patient No. 5 gazed at the castle on the other side.

The day of the magazine shoot, the second set was also a lake. Xiao Zhan stood within, surrounded by blue curtains from all 4 directions. An artificial water set, with a recliner, he wore a grey and pink suit that was the same color as a giant tulip prop. He leaned against the curtain, and raised two hands swinging in succession, like he was greeting the people outside. After that he stepped onto the platform to the middle of the water, and started adjusting himself to the set according to the photographer’s directions, “In the midst of an endless body of water, the skies and water surface were all man-made.” We could only see his silhouette from afar, we could not see his expressions. Divided by the curtain, he was being watched, but he was also watching us.

No. 2 Sensing “Truth”

“These two years, there were many stories that happened in your life, what changes were there for you on performance, on roles, no matter whether you acted in them or would act in them, did your understanding change?” The interviewer asked.

“I feel that there definitely will be, for example if I look back now at some of the roles I did previously, I would also have different understanding and different portrayal,” Xiao Zhan said.

In an interview in 2019, Xiao Zhan expressed such an intent: he would be limited by his life experiences on performance, and on the understanding of roles. “My life experiences then, or I could say the understanding of the entire acting career, was too flimsy, it was not multi-sided.”

The latter half of 2020, “Ace Troops” started filming, Xiao Zhan entered the project. His role, Gu Yiye, was a hardworking, tenacious character, and accompanied his last 4 months of 2020. “I feel that, he was respectful of the drama and the role, he had his own unique analysis and understanding, hence he could construct characters with flesh and bone,” director Liu Yan expressed. Xiao Zhan said, Gu Yiye has too many strengths, he would have to talk for a long time. The interviewer requested for Xiao Zhan to list 2 traits, “righteous, responsible,” he said.

“The filming environment and Gu Yiye, what kind of existence they are to you?”

“I feel that it is a kind of power, and that power is very strong. I wouldn’t say that it gives me motivation or confidence, but it definitely influenced me.”

Xiao Zhan later entered “The Longest Promise” project. “(Shi Ying) His heart is complex, he is not as free and satisfied as he seems to be on the surface. Facing his fate, his future, he has to be stubborn, persistent and tenacious in order to survive,” director Jiang Jiajun analyzed Shi Ying’s fate and character. In the drama, this character shouldered the responsibility for his country, but yet he also had a calamity in his emotional life, “very torturous.” Jiang Junjie felt that Xiao Zhan was very precise in the emotional control for every stage of Shi Ying’s life. “Every actor has his own experiences, I feel that he definitely put in some of the emotions from his growth into it.”

“Truth” was a word that Xiao Zhan and his collaborators brought up repeatedly in the interview. During the script reading for “The Oath of Love” in 2019, director Lü Ying remembered that at the start, Xiao Zhan and his co-actor Yang Zi frequently asked: Director, what do you want? Lü Ying said, he want “feels”. Later on, when Lü Ying reached the set they would proactively say, “I know I know, director, ‘want feels’.”

This year is the 7th year of Xiao Zhan in the entertainment business, his 6th year as an actor. At the starting stage of his career, he lacked acting experience, emotions was the most he could give in his abilities. Some directors liked this, it was a clean sheet of paper which could allow them to fill in their colors, it could be nurtured. But this also meant that the technique was choppy. In not just 1 interview in 2019, Xiao Zhan spoke about the obstacles at the very early stages as a new actor: the night of breakdown when he could not cry, he questioned if he was suitable to be an actor; after filming for a whole day, when the whole filming crew was waiting for him, he suddenly could not remember all the lines that he had memorized, and he could only apologize.

Xiao Zhan learned techniques from various filming groups and performance teachers, so as to maximize the effect of emotions. “To me, there never was a change, it was just to bring the most sincere emotions to the audiences… but you cannot simply just have passion, when you feel that emotions have reached 100%, but the audiences can only feel 50%, how do you express the rest of the 50%?” The Xiao Zhan of 2021 said.

No. 3 Just 30

The most recent Xiao Zhan drama that aired was “Douluo Continent” on CCTV and Tencent Video in February. When dubbing his lines, he reviewed his performance, and felt it was “very green”. After he said that, he was embarrassed as he smiled, then he straightened himself, “hence I feel that I must find some points that I can improve upon myself, see these flaws clearly, and correct them as much as possible later on.”

In March, when “Douluo Continent” ended airing, Xiao Zhan flipped his photo gallery to the position 2 years ago — a day in 2018, he had completed a scene in “Douluo Continent”, felt that it was not smooth, but did not know how to adjust, and was depressed and helpless. It was late when he returned to the hotel, he moved a stool and sat in the balcony, spacing out while looking at the sea. “The sea breeze blew over, there was no one, the moon was bright, the moon’s reflection on the surface of the sea was especially beautiful, although there was no street lamp, all the trees and hills were illuminated.” He sat there for 20 minutes, or possibly half an hour, then stood up and returned to the room, his mood was slightly better. He then went out again, unlocked his phone and took down the scenery that comforted him.

“Now I still would.” There was always an indispensable regret after the filming of each drama: why he did not act well, why could other people do it very well? Re-watching or recalling his past works, he would first remember all those scenes that he felt he did not do well, “Then, oh my god, I think it’s going to air that segment.” “But there is no choice, it just happened.”

“Just like there is a line in ‘A Dream Like A Dream’, ‘It is all real.’ Everything is what happened now and then, you cannot use a camera to record before it has past,” Xiao Zhan said. After every performance, the directors on set would record down 6 or 7 pages of A4 notes, to explain everyone’s deficiencies. “Just that big,” in the make-up room, Xiao Zhan took up the printed interview outlines to demonstrate, “densely handwritten, every actor, down to lighting, the cooperation with music.” He was in awe. The directors on set would say, you used too much strength today, you need to take it back; the audiences’ reaction was a bit passionate, you were a bit excessive, don’t get carried away, hold down this stage. Xiao Zhan would receive the feedback and adjust. The next day, these points might have been managed, but the directors would say, there’s still that, could be done better. Continuous adjustments.

The interviewer asked Wang Keran, after half a year of touring, countless rehearsals and performances, if he still remembered the reason he noticed Xiao Zhan, and the link between Xiao Zhan and No. 5, i.e. Xiao Zhan’s situation and experiences.

“I would of course remember, I just feel that life is such a curious journey, if you would treat theater and creation sincerely, the countless curiosities in your life journey would enrich your creations,” Wang Keran said. He never asked Xiao Zhan how he used his life experiences into his creation. “You can look for the questions then (during the conversation with Wan Fang),” Wang Keran told the interviewer, “those questions he raised was his exploration, I could feel it in those questions.”

In the conversation that summer, Xiao Zhan asked Wan Fang, in the process of remembering her parents, “Did you feel any sliver of difficulty?”

The answer was definitely yes. Wan Fang’s replied had this segment: “… (as an actor) All of your experiences including pain, I feel that they would show their positive side one day, that is when you are portraying a certain role, you will have a deeper ability to understand, I think that is the positive meaning that pain gives us.”

“(On understanding roles) I feel that this has no relation to age, it is related to experiences, why would people say that you will grow up and mature as you age, there are stories in your eyes, I feel that these are what you’ve experienced,” Xiao Zhan said.

On the date of his 30th birthday, Xiao Zhan sent a Weibo post, the accompanying picture was a side view of him climbing a hill. That was in August, he was filming “The Longest Promise” in Alxa. When he climbed up, the sun was just right at the border of the horizon, the colorful clouds were still visible. He climbed up and thought he would be standing at a narrow peak, but instead a broad plains greeted him, there were horses running, “At that time I felt that the world had broadened.”

“So what if I’m established at 30, I’m just 30 only.” He said this again in the interview. He does not have any age anxiety.

No. 4 Kite

That night in October, Xiao Zhan went to Lianhuashan Gardens to fly kites. “Never thought I could recklessly carry an illuminated kite, run free on the grass plains, and no one would care what you were doing. I felt very much like I was back to my childhood. Very relaxed, very free.” There was no winds in the nights of the southern lands, Xiao Zhan held up the kite and probably ran a kilometer, the kite finally lifted up and flew for a few ten seconds.

“Why I said I’m amazing, because I flew the kite until the string snapped — I must have flew it very high.” After the filming of the magazine, at night while in the make-up room, Xiao Zhan had changed into his usual sweater for the interview, his upper body was straight and leaning backwards, one arm was raised up high, like he was gesturing the height of the kite, “I finished all the kite lines, I couldn’t retrieve the kite either, it just snapped. I feel that I’ve already flown it to its limit.”

The first two years as an actor, Xiao Zhan jogged at night frequently, and later on this habit became using a elliptical trainer at home instead. He still likes to go out for a walk, and record them as vlog, taking it as a form of “experiencing the current”. His colleagues walked the rooftop of Hangzhou Grand Theater first, then told him to go for a walk on the rooftop, and scenery. The voices of his colleagues came in from outside of the video, said that they hoped that he would breathe the air of freedom, and get in touch with nature. When he was at Lianhuashan Gardens, although the camera was still recording him, he was rubbing the bamboo dragonfly, letting go of himself, having a lot of fun. “Protect the freedom of toys.”

We could see that Xiao Zhan wanted to maintain a little space for himself under the watchful eyes of public opinions. He loved to share his drawings. In 2020, he drew a child holding a moon-light lantern, he drew plum blossoms, he also outlined a little whale from the blue sky and clouds. The first snow of Beijing in November was heavy, he quickly recorded it down.

He is not the sort would likes to clean his photo gallery, there were probably photos as early as 2016 still in his phone now. “Because memory is limited, you could forget.” Bringing up every drama, he would have a corresponding imagery and scenery. “Douluo Continent” was the highways and beaches of Xiangshan, “The Longest Promise” reminded him of the blue sky in Alxa, the wind was very strong, Shi Ying and Zhu Yan was a duo of red and white, standing firm in the desert.

When “The Longest Promise” finished filming, Xiao Zhan posted a short text post, quoting a line that Shi Ying said frequently, “Human would conquer the fates of heavens, matters are accomplished with human endeavors.”

“It is an organic instinct — I want to do it well, I want to live everyday well, I want to gain the recognition of others. Are there anyone who doesn’t want that?” he smiled, pausing.

“I want,” the interviewer replied after 2 seconds.

“Right? I feel that most people would still want to do well, including gaining the recognition from their collaborators at work, gaining their supervisors’ praises, these are all a form of energy, which gives you the confidence to want to do better.”

“From the initial contact with No. 5 until now, were there any moments that made you feel like your life interacted with his life experiences?”

“Yes, but actually as I performed his role, the more I felt that I could resonate with him, then I don’t have to search painfully for the answers, live everyday well.” He quoted the “7 Sunny Side Up Theory” from the relationship No. 5 had with Jiang Hong in France: if it was a success cracking that 5th egg, does that mean that life would not have to continue to this step?

“To me it is the same: you’ve made a choice, you can’t go back to break the 5th egg, there is no way to relive your days, then you just have to live your today well,” Xiao Zhan said.